A New Kind of Normal

My world has been in upheaval for the past six months. I am not going into detail about what is happening, but I realize that in my collection of days, my days are certainly different now, and I feel compelled to write about them. I am now cozily nesting in a one-bedroom apartment all by myself. It is in an old house that has been converted into three apartments, within walking distance of downtown Monroe, GA. It is quite a change from living on five acres in a piny woods with vegetable gardens surrounding me that I have known for the past nine years. My life is once again in a topsy turvy state of change, and I am doing my best to ride the roller coaster without falling off or getting too dizzy.

When my old kind of Normal got to the point that I either had to escape it or be sucked into something I couldn’t live with, I knew I had to make a change. It took me awhile to work up the courage to do it, but with the help of good friends, a loving and supportive family, many answered prayers, and a dose of humility mixed with courage, I made my getaway. It isn’t easy, and certainly isn’t over, but progress is being made, and I feel like I am on my way in the direction of my new Normal.

I never thought I would be making this many changes at my age, but here I am. Being alone is giving me the chance to spend some time with myself and to figure out who I am. Somehow, I had lost myself without knowing it, and it took moving out to be able to look at everything from a different and broader perspective and to realize that I had become someone I didn’t want to be. My old Normal just had to go!

Fear has played a huge role in all of these changes. I am dealing with my fear, and facing it in a way I wouldn’t have dreamed possible a few months ago. In my new Normal, I am relying more and more on prayer and faith, and while it often seems that my faith is very weak, I am seeing daily that it is stronger than I had thought. It is helping me to face my fear with a stout heart and accept it as part of my new Normal without letting it overpower me, all the while relying on God to lead me through some pretty dark days.

There are new friends in my new Normal, and several old friends have re-surfaced after having been gone for awhile. I have been amazed at the people who have shown up to support me and to help me through some pretty challenging days, friends who I didn’t even realize I had before the old Normal gave in to the new Normal. I am most grateful for these special people in my life.

Yes, life is certainly different for me now, and I am taking each day as it comes in my collection of days with fresh eyes and a new heart. I’m not going to let a single day go to waste, and I am going to make sure I thank God each day, several times a day, for all of my blessings.

I have today and a new kind of Normal.